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Tonight is one of those nights where I need to blog to get my emotions out. I don’t know how to explain how I feel on nights like this. There is really nothing that triggers my emotions. I just feel anxious and unsettled. I am exhausted but I can’t go to bed because that’s when its worse.

I am so tired of being alone. I am ready for my husband to be home. I am ready for this nightmare to be over with.

I would love to know how others in this situation deal with issues like this. At times I feel like I need to go to the Dr and get some medication but I don’t want to be dependent on something. That is one reason behind this blog, to help me deal with stress and express how I am feeling.

I titled this blog “Imprisoned on the Outside” because that’s what it’s like when you have a loved one in prison. They may be in a prison made of cement walls and barbed wire fences but we are in our own prison. A prison of emotions.

I have tried different methods of dealing with stress. I read, I pray, I exercise, I eat (not a good idea), I try to talk to friends but no one understands how I am feeling. Hopefully this blog helps me deal with this stress.

I would love to hear from others on how you deal with stress.

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I have always been an independent woman. One of the first things I bought for my first apartment was a set of screwdrivers. However, over the past two years I have had to learn to be even more independent and have become quite the handy-woman. What other option do you have when your husband is in prison? You have to figure things out for yourself.

Earlier this week as Hurricane Sandy moved up the East Coast, here in Kentucky we felt the effects of the storm through some really strong winds and cold temperatures. Monday night I was sitting in the living room, watching something on Netflix and writing to my husband when I kept hearing this bang, bang, bang. I knew right away what it was. The wind had blown my trashcan lid up and it was slamming against the side of the can. I used to have a bungee cord that I used to hold down the lid but somehow it disappeared. So here I was at midnight, shining a flashlight around my driveway looking for the bunged cord but it was no where to he seen. I came inside and looked through our tools and could not find another one.

As I was walking out of the closet where the tools are, I tripped over a metal clothes hanger and suddenly the lightbulb went on! I could use the clothes hanger to tie down my trash can lid! I’m a genius I know!

I really wish I had a picture of my rigged up wire to hold down the lid. Tomorrow is trash day so before I set the trash out I will have to take a picture and post it. I will have to remember to remove it or the trash collectors will hate me!

I see so many women who complain about their husbands because they “don’t do anything right”. I would love for my husband to be home with me so that he can handle some of the duties around here. If this separation has taught us anything it is how much we love and appreciate each other.  I hope I never turn into the wife who complains about my husband. I want to be the wife who supports him and encourages him, not knocks him down. If your husband is home with you tonight be thankful for him. There are many of us who would give anything to have our men here with us.

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